Opening Statement



Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Cracked: Our Rob Ford! Back for More!

Note: Some technical fix me ups have been made below. My Teacher + Union Acronym Guide is Here!


Past Cracked: The Rob Ford Story Blogs:

Part 1 Nov 2012  Part 2 @ Here! Part 3 @ There! Part 4 @ Then! Part 5 @ Busted?

THE LATEST!

Expect this one to be a real stinkerooni once the full story becomes known: Both the City of Toronto + the TCDSB Catholic School Board have been involved in an attempt to block the release of documents on why Mayor Rob Ford was fired as a football coach at Don Bosco Catholic Secondary School last year. At first the TCDSB tried to refuse on grounds he was a "quasi" employee, a claim refuted as ridiculous by experts in employment law. Also, the municipal government has been using taxpayers dollars to try to block their release. It might take months for the Toronto Star Freedom of Info request to be processed for release of the documents @ What's he hiding now?!

Our Robs campaign literature has been making much hoopla of his apparent efforts to help disadvantaged youth by coaching high school football @ A Few Words About Rob



Football Rob: Just trying to coach disadvantaged high school youth?

Sam "the Caveman" Losco from Canada's "Trailer Park Boys" TV + movie series endorses Rob Ford and promises to help him out on his campaign. Rob is glad! Hmmm. Here's a "best of film" clip for those who aren't familiar with "the Caveman" @ Youtube

Having a selfie taken with Rob Ford only encourages him Your dark side!?

New ad on Craiglist: Would you follow Rob around for 8 hours playing a tuba + wearing a pro-camera to document the antics? The pay? $125! Should be interesting! The idea comes from an episode of the "Family Guy". Article also features a 72 shot slide show history of his most famous apologies. All this and more folks @ Tuba player wanted! 

The Toronto Star has a video of Our Rob threatening to kill somebody and "rip his fucking throat out". Scott MacInyre claims that it's related to his jail house beating. Rob claims that it was a joke about a wrestling match. Video @ #@$^%! 



Our Rob on Civilization 5!

Dubious distinction: Our Rob is now a computer game character @ Civilization 5

"Anybody but Rob Ford" election poster removed from Trinity Bellwoods Park! Video @ City News

"No Ford Nation" website exposes Ford election lies @ Lotsa laffs!


Toronto Municipal election heats up!

Following an interview about hot dogs, outside Toronto City Hall, Our Rob makes a mad rush to the end zone, back in the safety of his office, after being followed by reporters wanting to ask questions about the latest scandal, knocking over folks along he way. It was a true Rob Ford moment. You can see the videos @ On the run!


So what's the latest scandal? Toronto police have released a description of the Rob Ford Crack Video @ Police report

The police discover the video on a seized computer during a gang raid @ Blow by blow 



Really likes St. Patrick's day ...

St Patrick Day starts about St Patrick's Day 48 hours early  @  Irish?

The pub tours continue 8 months prior to election day @ Slide show

Our Rob appears on the Jimmy Kimmel show. Listen; Rob was NOT there on an approved trade + tourism junket. Nor do his claims of balancing the city budget let alone creating a surplus pan out when one examines the numbers carefully. Ford can and will say anything, and of course it always sounds good but is phooey! Here's the news report and a video link to the show @ Jimmy Kimmel Show



Kimmel: Ready + Waiting! 

Let's give Jimmy credit! He put the questions that need to be asked of Ford. None of the pussy footing around like here in Toronto where he says outrageous things that the media lets pass. Watch Rob Ford on the Jimmy Kimmel Show Part 1 @ Youtube Part 2 @ More Part 3 @ Even More Part 4 @ The Most

Ford is off to promote trace + tourism for Toronto in L.A?!? That's news here back home! Even if so, what kind of tourism will he attract? Gang bangers + folks looking to score crack? Thanks but no thanks! Story @ BS: he's promoting himself!

Here's a live feed + the Youtube links @ Toronto Star


Our Rob: The Mardi Gras Ambassador of Canada + Crack!

A Rob Ford, Justin Beiber + Pamela Anderson float celebrate Canada at this years Mardis Gras Parade in New Orleans. Just makes you so proud to be a Canadian eh? Not! Listen: he might be good for a larf elsewhere but the guy is supposed to be our city mayor, sits on the Police Services Board, and supposedly represents our city and our interests abroad! Story @ Ford Float!

Rob Ford's Mayoral campaign manager brother Doug ratchets up his attack against Toronto police Chief Blair for being offended by his brother's drunken Steak Queen tirade, among other things. He blames the Chief's comments on his opponent John Tory's election campaign. Boy, this is going to be a nasty election race between now and October 27th, that's for sure. At least on the Ford Bros part. More @ Chief Blair

You can listen to Doug's latest tirade @ Soundcloud

Our Rob's pretty pissed the Gay Pride flag is still flying at Toronto City Hall during the Sochi Olympics but there's nothing he can do! It's not up to him. Poor boy explains how he feels about it all on his new Ford Nation Youtube show. Ford on Youtube talking about homophobia? Isn't this called Jumping the Shark?!? Yawn. Story @ Not having a gay old time!



On his Youtube blog Ford presents his Top 10 list of city hall councillors he will be out to get in the October municipal election. Guess he's been watching too much Letterman? Read story + see video @ Robs Top 10 or so!

Here's the "official" link for the Ford Bros new Youtube talk show @ Ford Nation!

Ford Nation will be broadcasting the Ford follies again, this time on Youtube! The latest? Rob lied about the crack story because he was "embarrassed". Yeah right. The bigger the lie the more people will fall for it. Rob knows that and has worked it out to a fine art! Story @ Toronto Star

A Toronto based film company has bought the movie + TV rights to the Rob Ford best seller "Crazy Town". OK, so which actor will play Rob? Doug? Maybe the Trailer Park Boys?! Then there's Sandro? How about their gangbanger crack buddies? Or Rob's wife Renata? Ha @ Coming to the big screen!


Our Rob: He's not exactly an enlightened guy!

The Gay Pride flag is raised at Toronto City Hall in protest of Russia's discriminatory laws, like in many Canadian municipalities during the Olympics. Mayor Rob Ford wants it removed @ Gay Pride Flag

Our Rob tells all candidates election debate meeting he won't be attending World Pride Day in Toronto this year. He doesn't go to the regular ones either, but always makes excuses he has to go on a family holiday at the cottage. Not this time. Rather queer though, how he is jumping the gun: he hasn't even been invited yet! Story @ Not going! Nope! No way!


Seems our Robs actually a pretty sensitive guy: Here's the flag in question!

Ford accused of homophobia! Here's the worst part. He doesn't care. A mayor should represent all the citizens. Not Rob. His homophobia will play well with his staunch Ford Nations supporters in the suburbs of Etobicoke. It could even bolster his support there. The Toronto Gay community will of course be hurt but Ford doesn't care. They live in the city centre where he doesn't get many votes anyway. It is this very neo con divide + conquer use of harmful wedge issues that is at the bottom of this latest controversy IMHO. Anyway story @ Wedge issue 4 Ford!


Rob Ford looking kinda stiff as he gets kissed by a gay man at the 2012 opening ceremonies. Oh. I see. He's made of cardboard?!

Doug Ford says although he has gay friends he doesn't go because he doesn't like to see "middle aged buck naked men with pot bellies running wildly down the street." In the interview he just kept saying those two phrases over and over again to emphasize that neither he nor Doug are homophobic. He had a very angry and seemingly shocked look on his face. Pure Ford. Suppose they get easily embarrassed over improprieties and so on ...? Hmmm. Story @ Buck naked

Our Rob hits Junction area 3030 pub then calls in sick to work next day. Must be quite the bender? How long has this been going on now? What's the matter, did he get kicked out of the Steak Queen?!? Story @ Toronto Star

A new book raises many questions about Rob Ford's wife Renata. His lil' pussycat has accused him of assault before but then withdrew charges. Now she's denying that he claimed he would give up pills but never "blow", while he lays low for awhile. The problem is others overheard the remarks. Sounds like abused wife syndrome to me but then I am no expert. More on Renata Ford @ Crazy Town


Crazy Town: 7 things you didn't know about the Fords? Besides that they consider themselves the Etobicoke version of the Kennedy's?!? I saw an interesting interview with the author, Toronto Star reporter Robin Doolittle on CP24 today, for the launch of her book. Simon LeDrew was giving her a hard ride on whether Toronto has problem on it's hands with the Fords [?!?], and why she feels she has to write about him. She replied that his crime connections compromise the office of mayor in many dangerous ways. How obvious eh? If they were just another family down the street, I will be quite frank, I could give a flying F about the story, but the fact is, he sets the agenda for the city, makes decisions affecting us all, is on the police board and so much more. Yet he is cavorting with organized crime, stoned on crack .... on and on the list goes. The Rob Ford story is everybody's business in Toronto. See the write up on her book @ Toronto Life 

Here's an excerpt from her book @ Toronto Star

Here's the Toronto Suns 7 part account of the Rob Ford Crack Video tale, part 4 @ Revelation's: Likes Purple Jesus!

Crackbird: Rob Ford meets the Beatles @ Video!

Scariest proof Rob Ford is a neo con with a very limited perspective on our cities people issues come from his own mouth @ Now Magazine Quotes

Hmmm. I don't allow commercial advertisements to be posted on this blog for profit, so I am undecided about this one. However, it's for a way to deal with your frustration over Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, rather than go stark raving mad! This is @ Squeeze Ford Toy!

Our Rob allegedly speaking in tongues after he spends an hour in Vancouver pub washroom? Maybe he's found Jesus again?!? Story @ Upon high?

More on Our Robs antics at the Foggy Dew pub @ Toronto star

On his weekend trip to Vancouver BC our Rob is ticketed for jaywalking. He denies he was intoxicated in public while claiming he was only drinking a Diet Coke. Umm. He's a tricky wordster Our Rob! So was he or wasn't he? Scroll down this article + you can also see Rob's new dance video. More @ Vancouver vacation or more of the same? 


The Capt'n + Gilligan: Rob in Vancouver: hopefully not off on a sailing trip?!?

More on Rob's night out in Vancouver. He claims his police ticket is a waste of tax payers dollars. Meanwhile, it seems he was quite a hit with the young folk in the clubs. More  @ Good excuse 4 anything

Our Rob was allegedly the man behind a jailhouse beating that was orchestrated to silence the victim from revealing what he knew about Robs substance abuse issues. As usual, the story features your usual cast of unseemly characters. Story @ Jail beating

Our Rob is ready for some more theatrics in the City Hall budget debate @ Sparks will fly


Canada's worst exports? Justin Bieber shows up at the Toronto police station on a December 30th assault charge. He hit a limo driver in the back of the head. Next morning Our Rob comes to his defence noting he's just a young guy. Suppose if mayor doesn't pan out he could become an Ontario school principal next .... What do Rob + The Bieber have in common besides being rich Canucks who can do no wrong, around here anyway? Rob has a driving under the influence offence. Justin is just facing one now. Young fellar does have a lot catching up to do eh? Asked if he's a believer, Rob say nope. He prefers Rush and Led Zeppelin. Sigh. Alas. Now he's sullying their good names! Wonder if Rob plays air guitar while he's Dazed + Confused?!?..... Article @ Rob + The Bieber!


Toronto Board of Trade snubs Our Rob at it's annual dinner. He was disinvited + Deputy Mayor Norm Kelly was invited in his place. The key speech was a direct slam against the cities lack of leadership. Rob turned up anyway. Plus, as writer Bob Hepburn points out, it is rare when anybody stands up to the mayor but of course, we know what happens if they do. The bullying and lack of leadership across the province at every level of governance is quite similar everywhere it seems. This is not the Ontario most of us grew up in, but nowadays pretty much anything goes, if you can get away with it. Folks will even applaud. Sigh! Alas! Article @ Toronto Star

Not a good day again! Our Rob stood up the Empire Club business luncheon for 45 minutes while he was "stuck in a freight elevator". He then arrived to deliver a shallow election speech. Despite repeatedly referring to the audience as "folks", they did not seem too warm. He received little applause throughout the speech. Nobody knew where he was until he arrived, leaving them standing around wasting time with no lunch being served until he got there. The whole sorry affair was at best rather weird but apparently he had an excuse. Why would he be in the hotel freight elevator though? Hmmm. As always, it's just plain confusing! Story @  Freight Elevator Rob!


Not to worry! Rob was just stuck in the hotel freight elevator .... =8-0

David Letterman's latest Rob Ford Top 10 video! Absolutely hilarious @ Letterman!

Jimmy Kimmel's Meme in Honour of Rob Ford is real funny too @ The Rob Fording a Press Scrum Walk!

Vote in the latest Toronto Sun Poll: Will you still vote for Rob Ford? Close tie last time I checked! Poll @ Mayor?

Jeopardy Answer:


Question: What is "Toronto"?! ... Yes!!! Rob Ford becomes a "Jeopardy" game show question! Video link @ Alex Trebek

Our Rob admits to a "minor setback" with his drinking habit and gets into a shoving match with the media at City Hall today. Video @ Another bad day 4 Rob!

Rob Ford: Jamaica a-go-go!? Our Rob was recently out on the town at the Steak Queen Restaurant [?!] in Etobicoke having an "enlightened discussion" with the locals "explaining" Police Chief Blair + his drug ....er .... surveillance situation. The references to Jamestown, Malvern + the Toronto Jane Finch Corridor are quite intriguing. You can bet there's a big news story just waiting in here somewhere! Meanwhile hear Rob cussing up a storm + pretending to talk Jamaican like a Rastafarian bro! Seriously! Latest update on the story is @ Rexdale Rob

Here is a pretty clear copy of the video @ Jah Rob!


Has Our Rob gone Rastafari?!? Say it isn't so .....

Hip Hop artists waste no time with the new Rob Ford Steak Queen Jamaican Patois Dub video. There's also info + links for 45 songs inspired by Our Rob @ Dance Party Time Anyone?!


The Steak Queen Banquet Burger: Ummmm ... Did Rob sit on it?!?

You gotta love this: It's the Toronto Star's "Steak Queen" restaurant review! Cheap! Beer for $3.25! 2 at a time for $6.50! Quasi Greek food! Rubbery hamburgers! Red vinyl chairs! Fake wood tables! Four people booths! Plastic plants! Open 24/7! Near the racetrack + slots! Hardly regal but ..... well .... think of it as a Rob Ford kind of place! Best time to go is at 3:00 am. Maybe you'll bump into him + Sandro there?! Sounds like he's a regular fixture. PS: the onion rings are a winner + it's passed every health inspection since 2010! Hmmm. Sounds cleaner than my former TCDSB school! @ Steak Queen!

Brother Doug Ford confirms that is Rob in the video, but he isn't so sure when it was recorded @ Doug says so!


Drat! Foiled! ... or ... Lost Jesus/ found Rasta ...... 2 much Bob Marley maybe?!?

Our Rob admits to City Hall reporters that he was drunk at the Steak Queen last night. Quite belligerent. Won't say who was driving ... Doug must be red faced! News video @ Confirmed

Ho boy! Second video shows Rob sitting pie eyed with his former driver + drug runner Sandro Lisi at the Steak Queen. It looks like it was last night too @ Going my way?!?

Here's a clear copy of the second video. The article also includes a sample of the tweets being exchanged online @ More!

The plot thickens! Lisi is violating bail during his extortion trial meeting with Rob if that's them sitting together last night! Rob, of course, was busted years ago: driving under the influence ... or possession ... or something like that down in Florida. Here's the terms of Lisi's bail:


Toronto's Globe + Mail weighs in: Booze, Lies + More Videotapes? When is enough enough? Our Rob is totally incredulous not to mention a major embarrassment for Toronto all around the world @ Editorial

Why Canadians have stopped laughing at Toronto's Rob Ford, mayor of the city the rest of the country loves to hate @ Still Mayor?!?

The Late Night Show guffaws roll back in from stateside as Rob once again makes himself, Toronto + indeed even Canada the butt of everybody's jokes. My favourite one liner? Jimmy Kimmel: "Thank you Canada! This almost makes up for Justin Beiber." Story @ Globe + Mail

Wednesday morning January 22: Rob's back on the front page of the Toronto dailies! One wonders though: Will this latest story hurt him in the local popular opinion polls? Hasn't before. See:


For the scholarly minded there's a new book "Crazy Town" on Our Rob by Toronto Star reporter Robin Doolittle, one of the first 3 to see the crack video. I can't imagine how any book could possibly be up to date by the time it goes to press with Our Rob's non stop antics + disclosures. However the author will be giving a lecture. Admission includes a copy of her new book @ Literally Speaking!

SOME BLOG OVERVIEW NOTES [from earlier ... ]:

Yes, our Rob Ford is still the mayor of Toronto! It doesn't matter that's he's been stripped of most Mayoral powers by city council. He's still making it like he's Toronto Mayor, even if it's in name only! There's more shenanigans than ever. You'd think most of us in Toronto blush or even die with embarrassment. However, the polling has been consistent. Rob still could be re-elected mayor in this November's election! Matter of fact, he's in campaign mode now, especially since he's got so much time on his hands. What a campaign it is shaping up to be!


Our Rob does it again!

Cracked: The Rob Ford Story has proven to be one of my most popular blog features for some time now. The blog links go way back. You'll find the previous blog links below. I am now starting a new Cracked blog, since the story just won't go away. The links to his recent hijinks from my recent January News + Views blog are being moved over here for your convenience too. I'll keep adding the links on as the story continues to unfold. Keep checking back for the latest updates about "Our Rob", the Mayor we all love to hate" here on this blog!

Why is the Rob Ford story important for my teacher readers? Well, first of all there's the amusement factor which, let's face it, can help lighten up the day. Also note: Rob Ford is one of Canada's leading neo cons, the very political group that would like nothing more than to seriously kick your friggin' union butt, cut social services, and provide more tax cuts and cash grabs for Rob's rich buddies on the backs of the poor. Ironically, it's the low income earners from our working families who are also often his strongest supporters. Here then is a true blue all Canadian Neo conservative tale for the ages unfolding before our very eyes! Ignore it at your own peril!

As for everybody else? Well, I think the same lesson is true if you have any sense of decency or concern for democracy and social justice. Plus, sometimes truth is stranger, and indeed even sadly funnier than fiction. So here goes ....


How to get Our Rob to go away?

The Story to Date:

Rob Ford is the first to submit his application to run for mayor in November. He'll have plenty of time to campaign now that he's been stripped of most of his Mayoral duty's @ Rob Ford for Mayor again?

Toronto's Catastrophic January Ice Storm: Much of Toronto was without power, and the debris is still lying all over the place weeks afterwards! Mayor Rob Ford's request was denied for a "one on one" meeting with Premier Wynne. The Provincial Premier has been meeting with Deputy Mayor Norm Kelly + his committee instead because Rob was stripped of all his emergency powers by city council due to his lies and bullshit. Make sense? Well, Rob has still been strutting about pretending to be commander in chief throughout the ice storm crisis anyway. Without doubt he's all ready politicking for the fall municipal election. Story @ Rob takes charge!?


Rob Ford Chick Magnet? A night on the town!

Rob Ford hits the Toronto nightclub circuit on a Saturday Night as part of his re-election campaign. Apparently he was greeted with cheers @ Night Clubbin'?!?

More on Rob's night klubbin'. He's been swearing up and down he's bone dry + will never drink again since November! So what's his latest Rastafari act all about then!? Oh no! Don't tell me! He's switching religions?! But .... but ..... his hair's to short for dreadlocks isn't it.....?! Very confusing as usual @ National Post

Rob still rules the political polls!? "Moosecleans " ["MacLeans" magazine ... get it?] claims all of Toronto is about to be administered an intelligence test. Ha @ IQ?

                          

Will it be Olivia Chow verses Rob in this Novembers Mayoral election race?

Possible Mayoral Prospectus: Toronto's Olivia Chow verses John Tory verses Rob Ford? An analysis of the possibilities @ Toronto election

Could Canadian Prime Minster Stephen Harper have something up his sleeve to help buddy Rob Ford win the 2014 Toronto mayoral race? Sound plausible, but do the PC's really want Ford back? Maybe John Tory instead? He's more credible [and still a leftie threat] for any self respecting Conservative, one would think ... See @ Olivia?


Two Canuck Neo Con Biggies: Our Rob + Stephen Harper!

Toronto's "elite" won't speak out to defend Rob Ford. This is his Achilles heel. There are lots of neo cons who might be feeling it necessary to pull the rug out from underneath him and get somebody else as mayor who won't give them a bad name @ Toronto Star

Here's what the "city leaders" had to say @ Toronto Star

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford comes out in favour of decriminalizing marijuana. Maybe he and Ontario Provincial Conservative [PC] Party Leader Tim Hudak should get together to blow a doobie eh? Can you imagine? How does the joke go? In Canada we are very Liberal about pot! Only Liberals should smoke it! Ha.

Did I ever tell you the story of my buddy who had Rob Ford show up campaigning totally ripped on his front porch? Yup, Sparky invited him in for a beer! Can you picture Rob Ford sitting pie eyed in your living room ready to party hardy? What to do? Put on some Bob Marley records?!? Does Rob sing in Jamaican too??? Oh to have been a fly on the wall! Darn that Sparky! Some guys have all the luck!

Best we've managed at our condo is to have him show up in the lobby to kiss babies! Seriously! I kid you not! Get this: Everybody was running downstairs with them too!!!Getting pictures! Shaking his hand! They all seem like such nice decent people! Go figure! Anyway, the story's @ Rob on Pot? 


Brother City Councillor Doug Ford announces he's "leaning towards" running for the Hudak PC's should there be a provincial election this spring. He says Tim supports his candidacy, but the PC's were trying to wash their hands of the Brothers Ford as early as last spring. There have been some very serious allegations Doug was a "high volume" hashish dealer during the 1980's. Lot's of folks remember him too. He was a local dip stick high school Jock with more money than brains. Even wore a mullet for Christ's sake! Always hanging out at the local mall parking lot in his car. Let's see Timbo stick handle this one!

Doug Ford could probably easily win Etobicoke North riding with his die hard Ford Nation supporters, handing Tim a second Toronto QP seat. But how popular is Doug outside the city? Or credible? It's well known that he and Rob are the laughing stock of the world right now, and have been for some time. Will Ontario social conservatives appreciate his "local brand" of conservative politics? Oh, and get this; Doug reassures everybody he doesn't want to be party leader. He thinks Timbo is great! Talk about sucking up eh? Maybe they can strike a losers pact? Story @ Provincial Ford Follies?


He's back: Oh Canada! Oh Oh that is .....

[PS: I'm leaving some of the January Ford Brother's Ontario political links back on my January News + Views blog under "Party Politics" and "In Other News" for organization purposes. There's more on the mayoral race there too. See @ Here! ]

No comments:

Post a Comment

Communist Girls ARE More Fun!

Communist Girls ARE More Fun!
See below ...

Youtube Bar: Afrika Bambaataa!

Loading...

Communist Girls Are More Fun #1

Communist Girls Are More Fun #1

Communist Grrrls are More Fun #2

Communist Grrrls are More Fun #2

Communist Grrrls Are More Fun #3

Communist Grrrls Are More Fun #3

Communist Girls Are More Fun #4

Communist Girls Are More Fun #4

Art at the Paris Louvre: What does it mean?!?

Art at the Paris Louvre: What does it mean?!?
A careful analytical study!

Help! I Have No Arms!

Help! I Have No Arms!
Please scratch my back.

I can't find my underwear!.

I can't find my underwear!.
Have you seen them!

Weee! I can fly!

Weee! I can fly!
Look! I can crawl thru walls!

I have a headache!

I have a headache!
And a broken nose.

I have a square hole in my bum!

I have a square hole in my bum!

Here try this, it's very good!

Here try this, it's very good!
No. You have a bird face.

I have an ugly baby!

I have an ugly baby!
No I'm not!

Let's save all our money + buy pants!

Let's save all our money + buy pants!
OK but I need a new hand too!

Oh no! I got something in my eye!

Oh no! I got something in my eye!

You don't look well.

You don't look well.
No. My head hurts +I have a sore chest.

Would you like a bun?

Would you like a bun?

Chichen-Itza: Lost Maya City of Ruins!

Chichen-Itza: Lost Maya City of Ruins!
The Temple of Kukulkan!

Gotta love it!

Gotta love it!
Truly amazing!

Under Reconstruction!

Under Reconstruction!

Temples + Snakes!

Temples + Snakes!

The Snake!

The Snake!
It runs the length of the ball field!